The Joshua Tree

No not the album but the place. I've been told about Joshua tree loads and finally my chance came to go. However on the Saturday I was invited I'd been up all night being ill and was just resting on the sofa with my eyes rolling back when I got the call. 'Joshua Tree leave in one hour'. NO! I thought I'm ill but it's my only chance to go since my friend will be doing the 3 hour drive there. I grabbed some asprin and a pillow and jumped in the back of her car when she arrived. Not through the window David Starkey & Hutch style.
So we begin our journey with myself stating that I will not be speaking due to a sore throat. After stoppping off at a bar in the desert with real life country music band and bikers we arrive at Joshua tree.
From here we do some exploring. It reminds me of many an episode of Star Trek. I expect a Klingon or Ferenghi or Spock with a goatie attack at any moment. However no such attack arises and I carry on getting caught in rose thorns with my long coat. From here my inner child kicks me up the butt and kicks in. I start to do some mini rambling. jumping down little trenches and across small gaps. Then I see a couple of large rocks and think 'Id look cool standing on the top of that for a picture' I walk around seeing if I there is a simple way up. THere isn't BUT there are two indents in the side of one rock. So I put my right foot on the first indent push myself up so my left foot reaches the second indent and then push myself up on to the top of the rock and then climb onto the highest rock. I've made it - My Everest! My Killimanjaroh, My Ben Nevis, I'm at my peak. I get my picture done after shouting out triumphantly 'look at me i climbed up to here I'm on top of the world looking down on ceation and the only explanation I can find is erm I can't get down!'
After looking back and my route down I realize three things. One the slope down is very steep and I can't see where the two indents are now. If i go down with my back facing the rock I will just slide down and fall off a great height. My shoes I'm wearing are not Timberland or Millets but were Ravel with no grips on them at all.

By now my two friends were looking up at me asking how I was going to get down without ensuring a 127 minutes scenario where I just generally fall down and wait 127 minutes beofre the ambulance arrives after my friends have to call for one. I would of course cut off my arm so I can sell the story - hang on that's been done. I'll cut off my ear. Oh that's been done too. My penis? Nope it's been done. OK cut off my fingernails.
Still trying to work out how to get down I throw down my long coat as I think it will rip in any manner I attempt to get down. I then ask my two friends to tell me where to put my foot to find the higher foothole. It was kind of like a crystal maze game with no crystal to gain at the end and no maze. Although I could have been in the Aztec Zone by my surroundings. After turning my back and placing my life in their hands I finally make it down. I then wonder why there are no signs around waring males not to show off and climb up rocks without a plan for getting down. Nor Helmets given out. I also wonder how many bodies are out there in the desert of men falling off rocks just to ge one picture of themselves being manly and rock climbing in Ravel shoes.