An Eye for an Eye Halloween

So this year I was finally in Los Angeles for Halloween. 

From what I have seen over the years Americans go crazy for Halloween and I don't mean they all go around sacrificing goats to our Lord Satan whilst smearing themselves in blood and have a ritualistic orgy. Well if they do then why haven't I been invited to these parties? 

No they go trick or treating, dress up in costumes and decorate their front yards to resemble the home of The Munsters. 

On Halloween night my friends and I were sitting out int the front yard with an obscene amount of candy to give out. It got to a point where I told 'treaters' to take a handful instead of just one piece at a time just to get rid of them. 

I was probably responsible for the whole neighborhood developing diabetes over night.

Here is what greeted kids on venturing to our house.

One thing that did occur to me during the trick or treat session was that it looked very strange on occasion when the ladies had gone back in and myself and Dave were just two men trying to entice children to come close to our house with candy.

As you can see I went all out with my Halloween outfit. My idea was I was a Mod who had taken a short cut through an archery range. 

A simple use of two sawn down arrows, a Primark pair of fake glasses a Paul Smith mod target tshirt  (which is now ruined by the hole in the target), a prosthetic eye piece, make up, stick gum glue and three pieces of cardboard strapped tightly around my chest with a belt (couldn't breathe).

So off I went to a Halloween party at the Grandstar Jazz Club in Chinatown for a Morrissey/Smiths themed night. Pretty much everyone there was in costume. To a point where it suddenly became very normal to say 'Oh look cyclops is here' and then later 'Jean Grey is here as well' like the X-Men were having a night off. Mulder and Scully turned up (whether they were investigating a case there or not). Mad Max was attached, literally to Furiosa by a blood transfusion line. Pee Wee Herman showed up, a fat Robert SmithMacho Man Randy Savage was on the dancefloor with a mini Hulk Hogan and was busting out some moves that incorporated showing off his guns, doing a flying elbow and the international symbol for 'I want that belt around my waist'. Anyway Macho Man won the costume contest.

Later on I realised that my costume was a hindrance on myself be able to enjoy the night fully. 

1) I couldn't see out of the eye with the arrow in. Therefore I had to turn my head a lot to look at things. Stairs were also a problem. 

2) I couldn't go on the dancefloor at all incase someone backed into me and the arrows I had going into my chest and into my eye could potentially end up IN my chest and IN my eye. The type of headline you'd read in The Sun:

After actually having someone mimicing themselves using their hand and throwing their palm towards my eye arrow I decided to take them out.

What was amusing was seeing Mario and Luigi sat at the bar together getting drunk. Mulder and Scully from the X-files having a dance and not dancing well (as you kind of would imagine they wouldn't dance well in real life). Then seeing Jon Snow on his own looking very glum on the side of the dancefloor. Maybe because he was not allowed to speak to any women due to being in the Nights Watch.

Going Underground in LA

After my obligatory night in on arriving - this is what I arrived to in my hosts fridge

It's like they knew I was coming

However this was not for my benefit, they were leftovers from a party the week before.

I have my first day ahead of me in LA which is spent 1) Walking along a highroad for about 2 miles to get a US sim card for my phone and 2) Walking another 2 miles to get some stick gum glue for a future Halloween costume (more on that in my next blog). 
The first contact I have with a stranger is when some old guy in the phone store can't believe I'm wearing black skinny jeans in this weather (it was prob around 30 degrees). I explain that 'I'm English' and that seems to do the trick (or he can't understand my accent). 

After getting my sim card I venture to 'Party City' which is a chain of megastores for all your essential party gear: balloons, costumes, painkillers. I was a little disappointed that it wasn't a real city where people just partied 24/7 resulting in anarchy and a breakdown of society. 

I then went to Ihop whose fries I adore. They also recommend this...

Which makes me wonder...Does it make bacon better with bacon? 

Friday night is Club Underground night a mix of Britpop, Indie, New Wave, Post-punk and Synth. I've been going to Club Underground since I first came to LA in 2008.

Me at Club Underground 2009 (at bar green t shirt - alone)

t's a spin off from the legendary Cafe Bleu which ran from 1996-2000. If you were in London between those years the equivalent would have been indie night Popscene that used to run at the LA2. Here's a nice little article by the LA Times A scene of their own from 1997 on the club including an interview with founder and acquaintance Piper Ferguson who is now an established music photographer and video director. You can catch her amazing work here. I actually worked with Piper on her first short film director debut which you can watch here (I'm in the nightclub scene - I look like an idiot dancing). I also just been informed from original Cafe Bleu DJ Dia that contrary to the article above 'Courtney Love did not DJ at Cafe Bleu' but 'she was making out with a girl from Kenickie while I was spinning and it was totally annoying'. I think that pretty much gives an indication of the status of Cafe Bleu.

Club Underground has been well established and thee indie night to go to in LA. As a Brit I'm constantly surprised at the record dropped at this club (who would thin Pure by the Lightening Seeds would be know in the US). But DJ's Larry and Diane always put on a great night. Plus if you get there early you can get absolutely wasted on the cranberry and vodkas happy hour (no real measurements here).

As Halloween was coming up there were a few people in fancy dress including these two Britpoppers.

Coffee and TV Blur Milk Cartons 

Next up Halloween!

Phoenix in flight

Hello campers!

Well Blur are back Britpop is back TFI Friday is back so I thought I'd cash in with resurrecting my Los Angeles blog (even though I hadn't actually been to Los Angeles in the 90s).

Sorry if you've been waiting these two years for a new blog. I like to think of it as writing a new album. There have been new members (in my flat), money problems, break-ups and an incident at Ronnie Wood's art studio in this time. But look I've changed the font!

So let's start at the start and erm start with my flight which this year is brought to you by Air New Zealand. I've changed my allegiance from Virgin Atlantic 1) because Air New Zealand are cheaper and 2) I don't have to sit through Richard Branson's face during the inflight entertainment telling me about his charity work. I'd rather watch that footage of him sliding down a building and ripping his trousers again. 

 The morning of my flight I had to sort out my boiler, which took the guy 10 minutes to fix and I got charged for an hour. Anyway that's nothing to do with LA. I managed to pack again in 20mins which sounds impressive but I've been so many times now I know exactly how to pack for LA. I've gradually lost an item on each trip. So this year I decided not to pack another coat, not to pack my Rod Stewart t shirt, Labyrinth (the Bowie film not the rapper) tshirt, No extra belts and no sexual protection (as it's never going to happen anyway). 

This time as well I remembered that you don't actually have to carry your onboard hand luggage with everything in it TO the airport you can, for instance carry your heavy laptop in the front of your suitcase and then take it out and pop it in your carry on bag just before you check in your luggage. This makes carry your hand luggage bag a lot easier going up and down stairs at interchanges on the tube to the airport. Just a little advice for you there that I picked up after 14 TRIPS back and forth to LA over the last 7 years before realising this!

I get to Heathrow and check in with the interactive kiosk making sure I don't hit the 'do you have any weapons' button by mistake and then go through security. 
Here I set the alarms off. I ask 'is it me' (not that I was in a translucent state where I question everything in the real world). It is me. They take me aside and take out a wierd looking brush like one you would use to clean the dishes. The security guard then brushes it over my hands then pulls out a little stool and asks me to put one foot up on it. I ask him if he's going to give me a shoe shine, he doesn't answer and brushes each foot. This is so they can look for traces of explosives although I'd have to be a pretty clumsy chemist to get it on my hands and shoes.

Heathrow Terminal 2 (not the plane i'm getting on).

One thing different about Air New Zealand to Virgin Atlantic is that there are a row of 3 seats instead of 2 by the windows. I had a window seat. This resulted in my usual dilemma of trying to hold my urine capacity so not to annoy the person next to me when asking if I can get out being doubled. I think I broke my record and only asked once for them to 'get out the way' with about 1 hour 30 mins left on the flight. This also happened by the side of me:

yeah go ahead use my arm rest as a foot rest.

Films I watched on this flight were:
Ant-Man 7/10
Kingsmen: The Secret Service 7.5/10
Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation 7/10 (as Tom Cruise had minimal lines)