Well Blur are back Britpop is back TFI Friday is back so I thought I'd cash in with resurrecting my Los Angeles blog (even though I hadn't actually been to Los Angeles in the 90s).
Sorry if you've been waiting these two years for a new blog. I like to think of it as writing a new album. There have been new members (in my flat), money problems, break-ups and an incident at Ronnie Wood's art studio in this time. But look I've changed the font!
So let's start at the start and erm start with my flight which this year is brought to you by Air New Zealand. I've changed my allegiance from Virgin Atlantic 1) because Air New Zealand are cheaper and 2) I don't have to sit through Richard Branson's face during the inflight entertainment telling me about his charity work. I'd rather watch that footage of him sliding down a building and ripping his trousers again.
The morning of my flight I had to sort out my boiler, which took the guy 10 minutes to fix and I got charged for an hour. Anyway that's nothing to do with LA. I managed to pack again in 20mins which sounds impressive but I've been so many times now I know exactly how to pack for LA. I've gradually lost an item on each trip. So this year I decided not to pack another coat, not to pack my Rod Stewart t shirt, Labyrinth (the Bowie film not the rapper) tshirt, No extra belts and no sexual protection (as it's never going to happen anyway).
This time as well I remembered that you don't actually have to carry your onboard hand luggage with everything in it TO the airport you can, for instance carry your heavy laptop in the front of your suitcase and then take it out and pop it in your carry on bag just before you check in your luggage. This makes carry your hand luggage bag a lot easier going up and down stairs at interchanges on the tube to the airport. Just a little advice for you there that I picked up after 14 TRIPS back and forth to LA over the last 7 years before realising this!
I get to Heathrow and check in with the interactive kiosk making sure I don't hit the 'do you have any weapons' button by mistake and then go through security.
Here I set the alarms off. I ask 'is it me' (not that I was in a translucent state where I question everything in the real world). It is me. They take me aside and take out a wierd looking brush like one you would use to clean the dishes. The security guard then brushes it over my hands then pulls out a little stool and asks me to put one foot up on it. I ask him if he's going to give me a shoe shine, he doesn't answer and brushes each foot. This is so they can look for traces of explosives although I'd have to be a pretty clumsy chemist to get it on my hands and shoes.
One thing different about Air New Zealand to Virgin Atlantic is that there are a row of 3 seats instead of 2 by the windows. I had a window seat. This resulted in my usual dilemma of trying to hold my urine capacity so not to annoy the person next to me when asking if I can get out being doubled. I think I broke my record and only asked once for them to 'get out the way' with about 1 hour 30 mins left on the flight. This also happened by the side of me:
Films I watched on this flight were:
Ant-Man 7/10
Kingsmen: The Secret Service 7.5/10
Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation 7/10 (as Tom Cruise had minimal lines)
This time as well I remembered that you don't actually have to carry your onboard hand luggage with everything in it TO the airport you can, for instance carry your heavy laptop in the front of your suitcase and then take it out and pop it in your carry on bag just before you check in your luggage. This makes carry your hand luggage bag a lot easier going up and down stairs at interchanges on the tube to the airport. Just a little advice for you there that I picked up after 14 TRIPS back and forth to LA over the last 7 years before realising this!
I get to Heathrow and check in with the interactive kiosk making sure I don't hit the 'do you have any weapons' button by mistake and then go through security.
Here I set the alarms off. I ask 'is it me' (not that I was in a translucent state where I question everything in the real world). It is me. They take me aside and take out a wierd looking brush like one you would use to clean the dishes. The security guard then brushes it over my hands then pulls out a little stool and asks me to put one foot up on it. I ask him if he's going to give me a shoe shine, he doesn't answer and brushes each foot. This is so they can look for traces of explosives although I'd have to be a pretty clumsy chemist to get it on my hands and shoes.
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| Heathrow Terminal 2 (not the plane i'm getting on). |
One thing different about Air New Zealand to Virgin Atlantic is that there are a row of 3 seats instead of 2 by the windows. I had a window seat. This resulted in my usual dilemma of trying to hold my urine capacity so not to annoy the person next to me when asking if I can get out being doubled. I think I broke my record and only asked once for them to 'get out the way' with about 1 hour 30 mins left on the flight. This also happened by the side of me:
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| yeah go ahead use my arm rest as a foot rest. |
Ant-Man 7/10
Kingsmen: The Secret Service 7.5/10
Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation 7/10 (as Tom Cruise had minimal lines)
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