Well I well and truely arrived in Hollywood last night. From a simple last minute decision to visit the New Beverley Cinema (Tarrantinos cinema) and watch two films starring Rod Taylor (no I hadn't heard of him either) turned my night into a quite surreal one.
Firstly the two films I saw were 'The Dark of the Sun' about a gang of Mercenaries who were paid to recover some diamonds from a town in the Congo before it got looted by the local savage tribe.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0062863/
and 'Hell River' which is also known as 'Partizan' & 'Tactical Guerilla' which was about the struggle of Yugoslavs against the evil Nazi Adam West and a great German actor called Peter Carsten who seems to have been flavour of the month in playing Nazis as he was also in the first film playing a child killing, chain-saw weiding, raft building Nazi. Quite an all rounder. Anyway I'm never quite sure how Adam West got any acting work at all it was like watching Hugh Grant pay Pinochio. His best moment though was firing a maching gun whilst on skis in a white jumpsuit with a maniacal laugh greeting his enemy before being easily shot for the fact of skiing with both hands whilst his gun was still around his neck towards his enemy.
So I went off to a bar afterwards in which there was a man dressed as a manatee at the bar. I found out he was a manatee when I asked whether he was a walrus or a seal. It's probably the equivalent of someone asking me if I'm Australian or a New Zealander in the US.
Just as last orders are called my friend Tinita shows up and her friend works at the bar two doors down. She tells me he has sent her a text that Quentin Tarrantino is at his bar. I tell her to 'drink up - we're going'. Which fair play to her she didn't complain that she had a whole bottle to finish.
Now when I came over to LA I bought the cheapest phone I could to work over here. It has everything on it at about a tenth of the strength. My camera on this phone. 0.3 MP which takes a picture worse than I could probably sit there and draw it. I ask Tinita what camera she has with her. Hers it worse than mine in that she doesn't have one. Argh! However I'm then told not to have my photo done with him as it's kind of the thing you DON'T do in Hollywood.
So we go to the bar and we see Tarrantino is sat right at a bar as we walk in. We walk straight past. I then spend the last half hour of the evening spying on him through little windows in the wall seperating the bar and the booth area. Much like Rod Taylor did in the film I watched earlier shooting at Nazis.
We are finally asked to leave the bar at closing, I speak to a party of three others who were at the other bar earlier (one of whom I find out is a porn star). She tries her luck in going straight to Tarrantinos booth and asking for a cigarette. No Reservoir Dogs type scenario unfolds where he pulls out a gun and she pulls out a gun only for his gun to be a lighter.
So we wait outside on the 'sidewalk'. Then he finally comes out walks straight towards me. 'Hey you've got just the right indie boy, floppy hair, short ass gimp I'm looking for for my next film' he spurts out at me. Actually he didn't he walk past and off into the Sunset Boulevard. But wait! He stops at the Valet. It's now or never!
By now he's getting the odd 'Hey Quentin' remark off stranglers. I walk over 'Hey Quentin' i say (good start I thought). 'I've just been to see your Rod Taylor double bill at the Beverely cinema'. 'Oh hey what did you think?' He says whilst trying to look for the valet with his car'. 'Yeah they were excellent'. 'Oh cool' he replies (i still think he didn't even look at me). Before he trundles off and attempts to get into a car that isn't his.
One of my party comes over and shakes my hand claiming 'well done you spoke to him' five seconds later I reply. 'Did I just shake Tarrantnios hand...or was it yours'? I had no idea. If I can speak to Tarrentino then now for the next stage.... speaking to girls.
Oh and the other thing was I didn't think both films were excellent. The first one was good and the second was very long and boring. So I did actually lie to him (apologies Tarrantino _ I would have given you a whole critic but you had to find your car). I think the last time I lied to a celebrity was at the Christmas lights being turned on in Luton when Blue Peter presenter Katy Hill came to turn them on. She asked if we watched Blue Peter when we had our photo done with her. 'Yeah' I replied 'It's my favourite programme' I HATE BLUE PETER!
Join me next time as Adam West would say (well the voiceover man) Same Bat Time same Bat channel
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